The first is “We need to talk.” The second is “Where do you think this relationship is going?” It’s the dreaded “Defining The Relationship” talk… The DTR talk has achieved an almost mythical level of terror amongst people – especially men, because it almost always comes at the worst possible moment, and suddenly you have to make decisions that will affect you for the rest of your relationship.

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She says it’s 100% normal for us to both date multiple people at once until we decide together to make the relationship exclusive. Agreeing to date someone while he or she dates other people signals that it is somehow acceptable not to respect or value you.

At a minimum, it is a waste of your time, as more likely than not, non-exclusive relationships peter out. It is rude and disrespectful to be subject to such behavior. Dating someone while they’re dating other people is the same thing.

At worst, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak, getting attached to a person who refuses to focus on you. While he’s out with you having coffee, his mind could be on the dinner he had with her last night. I know many people think, It’s okay if he’s dating others besides me.

Ever been at a party or a function where someone is talking to you, but at the same time scanning the room looking for someone else to talk to? I can also date multiple people and still make the right choice. Dating multiple people has significantly disabled bachelors and bachelorettes from focusing on the people sitting right in front of them.

Studies show that too many options actually make it harder to choose.

Relationships can be tricky, and getting into a relationship can be even trickier, if you’re unsure how to broach the subject of getting serious. If this is really want you want from this person, don’t wait until you’re in knee-deep with someone to find out they’ve been knee-deep with at least three other people while seeing you.

Some may not "give it up" b/c they wouldn't do so with anyone, vs.

them only concealing the goods out of respect, loyalty & commitment to the other person.

To give a personal example: my wife and I had our DTR conversation the third time she came to visit…